Breathe Me
by Silent Epiphany
Summary: Shounen-ai hints, implied MakoRei. A pointless little ficlet in which Mako woobs and Rei consoles him. Hurt/comfort, not a shipping fic, just something that poured out of me.


**Disclaimer: **_Free! Iwatobi Swim Club _and all its characters and their likenesses are property of Kouji Ohji and other talented, smart, and now likely very wealthy folks. I gain nothing from this, (except for shutting my Mako muse the hell up for a while D: ).

**Timeline: **Set between episode 6 and 7? of the anime.

**Pairings:** Implied, none expressly stated. Main focus is MakoRei, unshipped, brOTP-type stuff. Snuggles!

**Warnings: **Off-color pairing? Spoilers for episode 6 of the anime! **Also spoilers for the _High Speed! _manga,** (which you should read if you haven't! SO GOOD), and a very, VERY woobie Makoto! Hurt/comfort, which means snuggling, spooning and general "guy love" themes throughout – don't like it? Don't read.

* * *

_Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me, I am small  
I'm needy, warm me up  
And breathe me  
-"Breathe Me", Sia_

With bleary violet eyes, Rei blinked back at his own neatly-folded red-framed glasses. The moonlight overhead shone brightly enough that he could still see, despite the hour. Around him, the tent he shared with Makoto gently swayed with a calm ocean breeze. Funny how the sound of the waves breaking on the nearby shore that had seemed so peaceful the other night now offered him no comfort whatsoever.

Despite all best efforts, he couldn't sleep. He'd been dozing off and on, but couldn't seem to fall into a deep enough slumber to stay there. If he had to blame it on something, he guessed it would be the residual aching and tightness in his chest. There was also a wheeze in his breathing that hadn't there before, and that he couldn't seem to resolve no matter what he did. He'd coughed himself shaky and lightheaded trying to get rid of it and all that did was make him hurt more, and in different places.

But that was much was negligible compared to the rest. After last night's harrowing experience, his body ached in ways unimaginable – with exhaustion, with effort, with the adrenaline let-down of having _survived_ something so traumatic. The group's nap on the beach wasn't nearly enough to even so much as take the edge off. He _needed_ this rest, and what little he got instead was painfully fleeting. Sighing audibly, he shifted down under his shared blanket, body making a nest in the sand below. If he closed his eyes, he'd drift off for a little while longer. That was still a better option than being awake.

It took all Makoto had, but he managed to wait until he heard Rei's breathing become slow and steady before he lost control. He'd done well in his efforts to keep others from seeing him cry, and he wasn't about to ruin that now. All the same, a moment longer he might have burst in the most ungraceful way possible, like it or not.

The events of last night had reopened wounds he swore had healed long ago, making them fresh and new again. All that pain, the uncertainty, and a _fear of loss_ so overwhelming he had _no choice _but to bury it in order to keep smiling, to keep _living_… all dredged up from unknown depths to haunt him once more. Memories from the past played in his mind, and with them a terror so real his body couldn't keep itself together anymore. Back turned to his companion, he clasped both shaking palms over his mouth, struggling to mute the sounds of grief that refused to be contained.

_The all-consuming fear he'd felt pulling an unconscious Haru from the river as boys… clinging to that unresponsive hand desperately, too scared to know what else to do, shaking from head to toe… _

It all swelled and ached inside him until he couldn't hold it in any longer, escaping in muffled sobs that wracked his trembling form as he curled tightly in on himself beneath his shared blanket. Tears cascaded over his hands, flooding his pillow. He hadn't wept like this in some time; probably not since boyhood. No matter how he struggled to contain himself, he was helpless to stop; the best he could hope for was to be quiet enough to go unnoticed. Nobody needed to see him like this; nobody needed to know.

"…Makoto-senpai?" Rei's sleep-addled voice drifted over, making Mako scramble to compose himself.

"Rei..!" he answered, trying his best to steady his voice so it wouldn't crack. "I'm sorry, did I… w-wake you?" Well, there went that.

The smaller swimmer's brow furrowed with concern. That certainly didn't sound like Mako's usual chipper tone. It didn't even sound like the voice of someone who had just woken.

Rei disregarded the question of the other in favor of one of his own, which was much more important. "Are you okay..?"

"Yeah, just fine!"

They might not have known each other long, but even a complete stranger could tell that was a lie. That answer – from the words themselves, to the tone and pitch with which they were spoken – was completely false. Mako had overstepped one bit too far, and Rei saw straight through him.

He rolled to his other side, facing the taller boy's back. Over the breaking waves, he could hear the other sniffling softly now, still feebly attempting to compose himself. The sound made Rei frown visibly, and though he didn't know exactly if the response was correct, he didn't stop a hand from spreading atop the crest of one of Mako's broad shoulders. What he felt there widened his violet eyes.

"Makoto-senpai…" He was trembling.

Rei could feel the other shift as he waved a hand dismissively at his companion.

"I-it's nothing," he denied, voice growing shakier all the while. "Go back to sleep."

"No," the butterfly swimmer brought himself up on an elbow, thinking of asking what the matter was until he recalled Mako's earlier confession. "I… how can I help?"

There was a pause, during which all that could be heard were the sounds of Mako's breath shuddering raggedly as though his ability to regain composure was fading quickly, and then…

A hand gripped Rei's, white-knuckle tight, trembling just as hard as the rest of his body. Knowing nothing else to do, the other responded in kind, squeezing back. Steady, strong, supportive. When Mako's hand began to fall away his companion did not release, letting his arm be dragged over the taller swimmer's broad shoulders.

Inching closer out of necessity, Rei found himself pressed securely against Mako's back, feeling those tremors fully for the first time. Never before had he felt another person shake quite like that. For as big as he was, it seemed Mako was equally as fragile.

A blue-haired head lowered, a warm sigh brushing over the other's neck and shoulder. "I'm so sorry," Rei murmured, in a breath he hadn't known he'd held, "if I hadn't gone out—"

"Don't be," Makoto interjected with a shaky voice, "I... I just…"

_I failed to save you, I put Haru in danger, I could've got us all killed!_

"…It's not your fault."

That's what Haru would tell him. What Haru _had_ always told him. And yet, even after countless years, some part of Mako still simply couldn't take the words to heart.

"Everything is okay," Rei soothed, "we're safe now, Makoto-senpai."

In an instant, everything came crashing down around him, and this time there was no hiding the sobs – no silencing them or drowning them out. Having no experience to go by, Rei did all he knew to do, pulling the two of them closer together, making every effort to wrap the larger boy into his arms to comfort him. The hand that still clutched his tightly shook with the flood of emotions ravaging his body, but the other didn't release. Instead, he curled around his taller teammate, rocking him faintly, gently, and whispering whatever soft words of reassurance he could offer into his shaggy, still-damp hair.

Even as the shuddering and sobs faded and the taller of the two finally surrendered to exhaustion, they remained coiled together. No matter how awkward their size difference made things, Rei wouldn't leave. How could he, having seen his friend like that? Letting out a small yawn, he settled his head down on his companion's pillow.

No matter what he'd been through, Mako always wore that same warm-hearted, kind smile. Perhaps he was too kind for his own good.

Or maybe, just maybe… that was what made him beautiful.


End file.
